My family

My family

I have 4 brothers and 2 sisters
1 mom and 1 dad.

I am however only biologically related to 3 of my siblings but both of my parents

See I come from a family where we believe that family is not something you are born with, it's something you earn.

You don't become a mother by giving birth, you become a mother by loving and nurturing that child

You don't become a father by making a woman pregnant you become a father by protecting and taking care of your family

You don't become a sibling by being my parents other children you become a sibling, by guiding, defending and loving your family.

So when you tell me that my sisters or brothers are only my half sibling or not my siblings at all I beg to differ see how can they be half sibling when I love them with all my heart and how can we not be family if they are the ones that have protected, nurtured, loved and guided me?

See blood might be thicker than water but our bonds are stronger than bones.

What I'm made of.

What I'm made of.

Endorphins, serotonin, oxytocin. - Happiness what we crave.

dopamine, phenylethylamine, norepinephrine and serotonin. - Love what we all seek.

Oxygen, Carbon, Hydrogen Nitrogen, Calcium, Phosphorus, Potassium Sulfur, Sodium, Magnesium, Copper, Zinc, Selenium, Molybdenum, Fluorine, Chlorine, Iodine, Manganese, Cobalt, Iron, Lithium, Strontium, Aluminum, Silicon, Lead, Vanadium, Arsenic, Bromine,

- my body, who I am, all that I am.

Or is there something more to it?
Am I more than just the elements that I am made of?
Is there a certain something we can't put under a microscope and study or jot down on a piece of paper.

maybe, just maybe there is a tiny invisible little something that makes me, me.

or maybe the beautiful truth is that we are all the same.

I was scared.

I was scared.

when I knew that i would be going away and that you were staying.
So now I'm stuck with the idea that you've replaced me and that I will come home only to realize that you've moved on.
that I am obsolete.

I am scared that we will drift away.
lets face it we've both seen it happen but we always managed to stick together.
So you better not leave me now.

because i love you man, because you are my very best friend
you know everything about me and i know everything about you too.

But now when I'm coming home you are going away,
and it scares me to death.

because the truth is that I need you, if even just a slight presence or an idea.
I NEED YOU.

I need you like fire needs oxygen or like i need my heart.
you are family to me so you better not be surprised when i hold onto you with all my might.
Because I love you far too much to let you go,
I love you far to much to see you drift away.

I'm so sorry.

I'm so sorry...

I'm so sorry that most people of my gender are idiots that think with the wrong head.
Sex seeking neanderthals that act only on primal instinct.

I'm so sorry that most guys date girls for what in between their legs not in between their ears.
Even when your mind is filled with the most beautiful thoughts and ideas.

I'm so sorry that you trusted the wrong ones.
the ones that hurt you, the ones that misused you, the ones that cheated you.

I'm so sorry that their sweet words stopped as soon as the mattress stopped squeaking.
that these sirens ever got hold of you with their song of lies.

So now when I compliment you, you look away.
So now when i touch you, you cower.

but darling.

let me reach you with my words, let me dabble in the endless beauty of your thoughts.
and let my arms embrace you while my shoulders bear the tears that have become too heavy for your eyes.

Noble gas.

Noble gas.

For the longest time I thought I was a noble gas,
that I needed no one but myself to be complete,
that i was just fine,
by myself.

but I'm not a noble gas in fact I'm much more like hydrogen.
See I had simply thrown away a part of myself, an electron, to try to convince everyone that i was perfectly fine,
by myself.

but my act fooled no one especially not you, a fellow hydrogen,
and you taught me so much.
you taught me that needing others does not mean that you are weak.
you taught me to be perfectly fine with not being perfect.

so i picked up my lost electron and accepted my shortcomings but with this covalent-bond we've made, we look pretty damn noble to me.  

Things I am afraid of.

Things I am afraid of

I'm really scared of spiders
I'm also kinda afraid of heights
And occasionally public speaking can seem scary
But I am absolutely terrified of girls
See spiders can bite you and that's it you feel the pain for awhile and then it's gone
But girls that's another story
While they might seem all innocent with their beautiful eyes soft skin and also they kinda smell really nice but Don't be fooled they spread rumors they can twist your words and use them against you
Girls will tell you they are not mad but
Really they are furious.
But the most scary thing they do is kiss you because girls kisses are the best thing you will ever get
A girl might let you hold her hands and tell you that she loves you too and even kiss you so softly that you swear you can hear violins.
But then next Thursday she will say you need to talk and that you are a great guy but let's just be friends

And she  will take away your rights to kisses and give it to someone else.
But the most scary part of girls is that I can't seem to stop falling for them.